Author Patricia Yarbrough's Page

Will My Morning Ever Come is a phenomenal and genuine authentication of how amazing God's mercy is when you follow His path. Through my divine walk of faith I stumble upon countless barriers that I could not have conquered without Him.
God sent me through the storm; I found the faith to calm it. God put high mountains in my path; my faith moved them. God sent me from a home to homelessness and I made it.

This book will inspire you, give you strength, build your faith and make you appreciate the compassion of a loving and merciful God.

EXCERPT- WILL MY MORNING EVER COME
Will My Morning Ever Come


Chapter 2

Believing in My Dream

I went into a deep thought, about “A Silent Scream” being

published.

I started thinking, to myself, what is going to happen, and then I

begin to say to myself, Oh!, now the world, is going know, how I cried,

how helpless I was, after the murder of my child, a feeling I hide for

years.

I begin, to feel like a child. I was afraid of what people, were going

to think of me.

The heaviest part of “A Silent Scream” that weighted on my heart,

was when I was at the cemetery, kneeling down on the ground, crying

asking Kenny, why did you did leave me?

I was ashamed then, only because I didn’t know any better, and not

only that I was grieving.

I walked into the kitchen, turned on the coffee pot, ready to get my

caffeine on.

No better way, to start a morning, than with a hot cup of coffee.

I stood there, as my coffee brewed. Some point questioning my

decision. Did I make the right choice, not to go back to work? I was

afraid.

I was not afraid of failure. What I was afraid of, was when my

unemployment check ran out, how was I was going to make it.

I walked into my living room, with my cup of coffee, sat down at

my computer placed my cup on my coaster.

I didn’t want to mess up my computer stand, being black, stains

shows up good.

I turned around, opened the curtains behind me. I love to stare into

the wooded area across from where I lived.

It was so relaxing. I always said one day, I am going to get a blanket

and lie in the woods.

It seems so peaceful, until one day, I saw a deer running across the

parking lot.

I changed that thought quickly.

After a nice long stretch, I reached down and turned on my

computer.

I had been doing a lot of research; on first time authors you must

market your book, before it gets in the hands of the publisher.

I sat quietly, meditating for about a minute or two, before turning

on the computer. I was still glowing from the thought I was going to

get my book published.

I reached down, turned on my computer, happy as though, I had

already received a contract.

I clicked on my internet icon, a shortcut on my desktop. It went to

a blank screen.

I said to my self, “What’s wrong?” I was hoping the computer

hadn’t gone out on me now. I was already on top of the world.

I thought, with all the retyping of my manuscript, the computer was

as tired as I was.

I was rocking back and forth, sitting in my nice black soft plush

leather recliner, looking out the window, into nice wooded scenery,

with my feet, propped up on a soft plush matching stool, waiting on the

internet to come up.

I reached down and turned the computer off.

I clearly thought, the computer was over-worked, like me. I had

been tired as ever, yet I kept going.

I shut down my computer, rebooted it twice, and logged in again got

a blank screen again. I said to myself, “Its okay.” As I’ve said so many

times before.

I thought to myself, what is the problem now. I turned off the

computer for a minute; walked in the kitchen, the part of the house I

loved the most, to make me another cup of coffee.

Looking around, my apartment, so nice, all of my appliances were

black, including my refrigerator and the counter top.

It was just a soft setting, I loved so much. If I could sleep in my

kitchen, I would have.

Sometimes I would come into my kitchen and stand. It was my

place to meditate. I would cut on the water and go into a deep thought.

I love the running of water I got to think, in peace for a change.

The light of my chandelier light, shinning in the dining area, made

me appreciate where I lived. If nothing I loved where I lived.

I continued, making my cup of coffee, giving the computer time to

do its thing, while I was enjoying, being on top of the world, for once

since the murder, of my son.

I was going to market, most of the morning. I was thinking to

myself, was I, ever going to see my dream, come true.

I walked into my living room bare footed, feet sinking in my soft

plush carpet; I turned around and tried the computer again.

I pushed the button, the green light came on; I figure I was back

in business again.

I sat back with my hands behind my head saying, “I did it.” I sipped

on a hot cup of coffee.

It was a great feeling, to have accomplished, the biggest fear, of

my life, allowing the world to hear my silent screams.

I reached down, turned on the computer. I said okay this will be my

last time restarting the computer; it gave me the same blank screen.

I said to myself, it has to be a problem.

Backing up from my chair, I clicked on the remote to the television,

it came on.

I picked up the telephone, it had a ring tone. I thought maybe my

cable company was having a problem, not unusual for a power line to

be down.

I picked up the telephone, called my cable company. A voice came

on the line, please key in your telephone number, I keyed in 555-1212.

The recording in my ear, was a message I did not want to hear; your

service has been interrupted, please stay on the line someone will be

with you shortly.

I hung up. I didn’t want to hear anything else. I was devastated.

How and why? I knew, I had sent in a payment two weeks ago.

I guess, it wasn’t enough to keep my internet service on. If I had

to choose to have anything turned off, it definitely would have been,

the television or the telephone, no one calls me anyway.

I thought to myself, this is the beginning, of the many obstacles in

my life.

I walked over to my table, picked up the telephone, called my cable

company, to get an idea, how much I needed to pay to get my internet

restored, not that I had any money.

The phone rang twice, customer service answered the telephone.

I started to hang up, I didn’t want to hear it, when I realized it was a

male customer service representative I was a little relieved.

I normally, have a little better chance getting my way with a male

customer service rep than a female.

He said, “This is Eric, how can I make your day special?” I said,

“By turning my internet service on.”

He laughed and so did I. I was serious he said, “let me look at your

account and see what I can do to help you out.”

We continued our conversation about the weather and so forth.

He seemed to be a nice young man. He said, “Can I get you to

verify your name and address and the last four numbers of your social

security number.” I gave him everything he needed he sounded so

sincere.

He said, “How can I help you?” I told him my service, has been

interrupted. He said, “Yeah I see.” Um, you need to pay, at least the

past due amount, of one hundred and thirty nine dollars and eighty

seven cents, how do you want to make that payment?” I told him, I

can’t make a payment today, if he could extend the payment until next

Friday.

I told him, I should be able to make that payment by then. He said,

“Okay I can do that for you.”

I was shaking the whole time we were talking. He said, “Let me

document your account.” He politely said, “If you don’t pay the

promised payment, by close of business, next Friday your service will

be disconnected and the entire balance will be due.”

I said, “No problem.” Knowing all the time it’s going to have to be

turned off. I don’t have the money now and I may not have it next

Friday but I needed the internet now.

He said, “Turn off your computer for five minutes and it will be

restored.”

I said, “Thank you so much I really appreciate your help.”

He asked, “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I said. “No thanks.”

He hung up, I hung my head down. I had no idea the road ahead

was going to get tougher. All I knew is I wanted my book published.

It was strange, as soon as I completed my manuscript, ready to

send it out to ten or more publishing companies my internet service

was interrupted

I didn’t know what I was going to do next week… The only income

I had was my unemployment check, which was not due in for another

three to six weeks.

Even when it came in, it wasn’t going to be enough to pay the

Internet service.

I am now in between a rock and a hard place.

I had to do something; I thought to myself what I am going to do

without my internet service.

I thought for a second, what could I do while my internet service

was interrupted was review my manuscript, which was in a word

document.

I knew when I had to start marketing I was going to need my

internet service; there was no getting around that.

Everything, you do now, in this day in time, revolves around the

internet, especially when it comes to looking up information.

I knew, I needed to start looking for another way to see my dream

come true. I couldn’t let this stop me.

After my internet was restored, I decided to take a walk.

I got up walked in the bedroom put on something comfortable

thinking to myself, “Am I making the right decision?” Should I go back

to work?

I put on my sneakers, grabbed my keys and headed out the door

to take a walk. I needed to think.